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After a careful review of the options for the up-coming election:
 
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.  HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
 
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned.  English is the official language.  Speak it or wait at the border until you can.  AMEN TO THAT.
 
(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude.   NO imports, no exports.  We will use the 'WalMart' policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
 
(3) When imports are again allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
 
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border.  (Six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
 
(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state.  If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting' nuttin' out.  Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
 
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis test and a passing grade.
 
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you will be banned for life.
 
(8) Crime - There will be no more life sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
 
(9) One export will be allowed - Wheat -- The world needs to eat.  A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
 
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes.  When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
 
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress -- right after a prayer to God.
 
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote for me will get you better than what you have and better than what you're gonna get.
 
REMEMBER WHEN LIFE WAS SIMPLE,  WHY NOT AGAIN!!!!!  ALL THE ABOVE MAKES SENSE.   ALL THIS POLITICAL BULLSHIT; DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE HORSESHIT; I'M SO SICK OF ALL OF IT.